Forget The Dreams, They've Gone Away.

She lies there; motionless.
Dead on the inside.
Feeling used, betrayed and alone.
She wants it all to go away.
Away
Away
Away

She wants to forget it all.
His smile. His eyes.
The way he held her; how he pretended to love her.
Forget
Forget
Forget

Slowly she's accepting it.
He was fake. He didn't mean anything.
He's gone. He'll never hold her again.
Gone
Gone
Gone

She closes her eyes; goes to a better place.
Lies. Hurt. Betrayal. The do not exist there.
In this place, she is safe.
Dream
Dream
Dream

She Cried

That night, wrapped in her warm cocoon of blankets, she cried.
She cried for her broken heart.
She cried for being so close but not quite good enough.
She cried for all the words left unspoken.
She cried for loss, love and hate.
She cried for what could have been.
She cried for him.
But most importantly, she cried for herself.

Begining

It starts with a glance.
You look into each others eyes from across the room.
At first you look away embarrassed, your face possibly red.
The next time it happens you flash a timid smile.
He smiles back and you get butterflies.

The next step is a conversation.
He sits by you and you make small talk.
At first it might be awkward, racking your brain for something to say.
But eventually it evolves and you can talk about anything.

Then comes the confession.
He likes you, you like him.
He'll ask what you would do if he held your hand.
Your face turns red and you ask what he would do if you held his.

You hold hands.
Its such a small thing.
But it means so much at the same time.
His big hand wrapped around your small one.
They fit together perfectly.

You'll love holding his hand.
The way he rubs his thumb across your skin.
The gentle way he squeezes it ever so often.
Just being close.
That's your favorite part.

He'll kiss you.
He's looking at you with those intense ice blue eyes.
Your so nervous you start talking fast about nothing at all.
He moves closer and your brain finally tells your mouth to shut up.
Your lips mold together and your left speechless.

That's how it begins.
From a timid smile to a breath taking kiss.
You've finally found what you've been searching for.
The void in your heart has been filled. For now, anyways.

Missing You

I miss the way you held me
Your fingers on my skin
I felt so small in your arms

I miss your eyes
The way you looked at me
I felt beautiful and loved

I miss your voice
I loved it when you sang to me
The sound was manna to my ears
I miss your lips
The way they felt on my own
When they connected I felt complete

I miss you
Just being together lauughing and having fun
When you held me close, I thought everything would be ok.

Want

I want you. I want you so bad. I want to have your arms around me, holding me close. Your hands caressing my back. I wan to get lost in your eyes. Gazing into their ice blue intensity, conveying our love for one another. I want to taste your kiss again. Its like a cool glass of water after a walk through a dessert. Refreshing and enjoyable. Breathing life into me. Our tongues dancing together…best friends…more than friends. I want to sit on your lap, lean against your chest and feel your heartbeat as you pull me closer and sing softly into my ear. I want the tears to stop. The pain to go away. Why must love hurt? Happiness end in sorrow? Why wont dreams became reality. All I want is you. Only you. Always you. What happens when it all ends and all you have are the memories. Memories accompanied by tears and thoughts of what could have been. What should be. What happens when you can't just be friends because the attraction is to strong but you can't be more because of all the problems it causes…do we just walk away? Leave it all behind, move on with nothing but the memories and heartache. The feeling that something is missing, knowing what it is but not being able to have it?
"This is the end of a really sad story. Don't feel bad for me. I started out alone and that's is how I'll end."

Real Magic

Real magic is a rainbow, shooting star, the way the earth glistens in the morning when the sun is rising and dew is on the ground. A sunset, the smell of rain right before a storm and the clean feeling after it. Having friends who can make you laugh when your feeling down, a hot shower when you tired and sore. Holding hands on a piano bench, your first kiss, being held by the person you love, looking into their eyes and and having them say those three words. Being with someone and silence is not awkward, knowing someone loves you, even when you've made mistakes, knowing you can be forgiven. Thats real magic.

Orb of Confusion

There are so many things I want to say, need to say, but I don't know how. I don't have any words, trying to make sense of my thoughts is like trying to read a foreign language. Impossible. My brain is screaming, trying to get it all out, but my mouth won't cooperate. I suck at this game; the game of conveying thoughts and emotions through words. They just stay bottled up inside, building upon each other growing taller and thicker untill they cannot be contained inside of me any longer.